Ma SadLife Story :'))

3:30 pm, Sept 6, 2022. sepi, empat abjad yang penuh dengan maksud yang begitu mendalam. kadang-kala sering disalah-ertikan antara kesepian dan menyepi. namun, konteks tersebut berdasarkan bagaimana seseorang itu merasakan perasaan tersebut. perkataan tersebut mempunyai maksud yang tersendiri. berdasarkan persepsi manusia itu sendiri. jasad yang merasakannya. satu perkataan, empat huruf. namun amat sukar ditafsir. sama jua seperti makhluk ciptaan tuhan yang bernama manusia. amat sukar difahami dan dimengerti. kadang-kala kita merasakan sangat dekat dengan sebahagian manusia. tetapi hakikatnya, kita amat jauh sekali. kadang-kala kita merasakan sangat jauh. walhal, jiwanya amat dekat sekali. hanya tuhan yang mampu mengetahuinya. dan mampu untuk menunjukkan apa yang kita perlu lihat. dan rasa yang kita perlu rasa. setiap kejadiannya dan perkara yang berlaku ada yang harus kita pelajari, oleh itu, hidup adalah pembelajaran. selagi nyawa dikandung badan, selama itu kita harus terus cekal. te

i often feel so bad for turning down on people that actually try people that actually care and people that genuinely love me for myself its not that i dont like them its bcs of the trauma that haunted me that caused by other person. i kinda let them go chasing me with a broken heart its just that im so afraid im gonna be another disappointment for that people the people that i love the most the people that i really need in my life im just scared of my own shadow my darkness my nonsense thoughts my attitudes. im not a lovely person not even a decent person for anyone to keep im just gonna be hurting people for being me but somehow this loneliness kill me slowly struck in my heart and broke everything inside it hurts so bad. there are lots of people that im scared would leave me whenever i feel so comfortable talking with them in my daily these people meant the world to me but now i kinda give up trying give up hoping give up wishing they could stay with me b

Hi, salam 17th March 2022.  Today is my bestfriend's convocation day. Yesterday should be mine but i cant attend the convo due to.... financial problem hshshsh. Tbh, thats not exactly why i didnt attend my convo. Honestly i feel like i dont wanna attend it bcs it isnt special pun. Beza from my dip convo was just the attire..... i feel like its so not worth it to bayar 255myr for the same ceremony, place, with addition of different day from my close friends. The vibe is so... meh. Boring and sad. i dont think convocation this time is worth my money eventho i graduated with First Class Honours. Macam takde beza je i grad first class ke upper class ke, no appreciation at all. Kalau ye pun bagilah duit sikit T.T Tapi takpela since degree aku pon 80k ytn tolong bayar HAHAHA. Alhamdulillah syukurrrrr. Anyway, yesterday should be my convo day, but i come to the convo to see my friends and that was... awkward but okay. Hahahaha. Yesterday was my convo day andddd yesterday also was my first

hi blog, 0333, 27th Feb 2022. i guess so far this is the only month that ive wrote more than one post haha. honestly, i miss my bestfriend. by the time now ik i dont hv bestfriend anymore bcs nobody is catching up with me :/ and nobody's trying to repair the relationship with me :( but theres always that one person that will always be my bestfriend forever. though we never declare or feel it that way but we're always oversharing and comfortable with each other. though we've been apart by our own friend, we keep catching up whenever we had the chance. but sadly, we became too close with each other that moment, that makes us realise we're too scared this might turn bad, or worst,, became stranger. well, its too late bcs we've turned to be that kind of friendship now :') hitting up "hi" does feel weird, not to be dramatic but saying "imissyou" also feel wrong :/ imissyou a lot, but you never feel the same way, despite my egoistic side, i choose

Hey blog,  0142, 25th Feb 2022. The day im writing this post is Friday ((by date)). So, yeah what is this post about? Well, tbh recently ive had some of my mental breakdown episodes lol i dont usually tell people that ive been experiencing mental breakdown a lot, like really really lots. Some of it was bcs of my friends, boyf too but rarelyla, mostly abt my future, my fam and most of it was bcs of myself. Why? Tahla, maybe im such a problematic person to start with lol why do i think that way? Well, obvsly ive always been a disappointment to everyone, literally everyone. None of people around me are blessed to have me around, they mustve felt good cutting me off lol haha self-hate cam biaso xD. Well, nak cerita about this week and whats the reason behind my mental breakdowns. Actually for this 2weeks laa not this week je sebab this week havent end yet kan so yeah,, it all started with my job interviews on Friday last week, 18th Feb 2022. Well, recently ive been actively apply all the p

hi guys, though nobody is here, reading my nonsense story, but i ll blogging anyway hehe. senanye taktaula nak tulis apa huhu but feels like typing and blogging so yeah here it is. another rubbish post from me xP okayla first of all, i just bought a wireless keyboard yay! lol just another excessive shopping habit for nothing T.T actually my bro bought it and it looked very tempted to me T.T so i asked himla how much he bought bcs that is the same brand from what ive added to cart in shopee lol then he said he bought cheaper than mine in the cart, which is idek how he can get cheaper but sokay,, i played with it for a while lah then he suddenly said he want to buy another one, bigger one bcs this one is a bit small and cute uwu :3 hahaha so he said, "you wanna buy it from me or not, i ll sell to mummy if you dont want" actually i know its really unnecessary for me bcs i aint working YET, so macam no use en and i diam jela, know know he bought another one esoknya. i was kinda s