hi.

​hi. to whoever reading this or are able to reach this blog, thankyou. thankyou for coming over and read my rubbish. today, 21st january 2022, 0525, if whoever read this know me personally in life, i would like to give my full gratitude to you. thankyou for accepting me in your life and sharing your life with me eventho i got nothing to offer along our "perkenalan". i might hurt you everyday by my words or actions or even my face expression and my body language. im sorry if ive been such a bad person to you and do you wrong. not noticing every single thing ive done to you, im really sorry. im in a very dangerous state right now and im sorry if now we dont talk anymore bcs i have insider problem that need to repair everything in me. im honestly thankful to have whoever read this in my life even we've known each other for a short time or if you are the person that known me for a very long time, im still appreciating you and wish you the best in life :) i could never leave anyone but right now i need to be by myself as i need to improve myself and heal. im sorry for letting you down all the time and not be able to comfort you when you seek it from me :( please know that even if youre my past, my ex-crush, ex-friend or anything that have ever been in my circle once, ive always been loving you as i could. i dont wanna push away everyone but i need to do that for now. please be safe ya <3 im sorry again for being a disappointment to you and not providing you things i shouldve done the best for you :( sorry for not being enough :( sorry for being me :( hope youre doing well with your life eventho im not there anymore :) im happy to be a part of you once, and if the right time coming by, i would greatly do it all over again someday :) thankyou for everything :)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts

:)

i often feel so bad for turning down on people that actually try people that actually care and people that genuinely love me for myself its not that i dont like them its bcs of the trauma that haunted me that caused by other person. i kinda let them go chasing me with a broken heart its just that im so afraid im gonna be another disappointment for that people the people that i love the most the people that i really need in my life im just scared of my own shadow my darkness my nonsense thoughts my attitudes. im not a lovely person not even a decent person for anyone to keep im just gonna be hurting people for being me but somehow this loneliness kill me slowly struck in my heart and broke everything inside it hurts so bad. there are lots of people that im scared would leave me whenever i feel so comfortable talking with them in my daily these people meant the world to me but now i kinda give up trying give up hoping give up wishing they could stay with me b...
Read more

unlucky day.

Hey blog,  0142, 25th Feb 2022. The day im writing this post is Friday ((by date)). So, yeah what is this post about? Well, tbh recently ive had some of my mental breakdown episodes lol i dont usually tell people that ive been experiencing mental breakdown a lot, like really really lots. Some of it was bcs of my friends, boyf too but rarelyla, mostly abt my future, my fam and most of it was bcs of myself. Why? Tahla, maybe im such a problematic person to start with lol why do i think that way? Well, obvsly ive always been a disappointment to everyone, literally everyone. None of people around me are blessed to have me around, they mustve felt good cutting me off lol haha self-hate cam biaso xD. Well, nak cerita about this week and whats the reason behind my mental breakdowns. Actually for this 2weeks laa not this week je sebab this week havent end yet kan so yeah,, it all started with my job interviews on Friday last week, 18th Feb 2022. Well, recently ive been actively apply all t...
Read more

new life.

Hi, helu, 27th April 2024.  0226: im writing a blogpost again. after so long. guess everyone know what it means 🥲.  yeah, first of all, today i had a worst breakdown ever. i teared up real bad ugly infront of her 🥹. im so depressed and sad and fcking anxious today. the shit that happened today was... macamni. yesterday was great, we were watching The Night Agent tgt, cuddling and holding hands and kissing like we used to do lahkan. then we both sleep after rating the series. we sleep peacefully knowing that, thats the last night to sleep tgt (sebab memasing nak balik rumah parents). so... ceritanya, we both wakeup at 6ish-7 in the morning bcs i put the alarm soooo fcking much and annoying asfckkk. so at 7am tu, she wakeup tertengok jam. the date was 26/4. shit. we forgot smtg. she forgot to check the date before confirming that she got meeting on 26/4. i was at fault too bcs i tak doubleconfirm the date with her (usually i do) but tahla kenapa i tak focus on that masatu. meb...
Read more