Ma SadLife Story :'))

hey, blog. i wanna share smtg to you. i got nobody rn so i have to tell you. atleast i feel relieved. i knw ppl around me are tired w my shits. they wouldnt wanna hear my rants, my unsolved problems, my undecisive side of me. yeah well, its always the same stories, the same problems. who arent tired right? :-) or even if youre a human, you are gonna do the same thing. so the thing is, its 1:02 am when i started to lay my head on my pillow & close my eyes. everything started to appear infront of my closed eyes. the scenarios, the words spoken, the imaginary. i started to think of him. actually i was just thinking abt who will i married to. tbh, i think abt it every. single. day. but suddenly today he came, hes on my mind. he came & makes me think more and more of him. i opened my eyes, & shit, its 1:30 am. now its 1:45 am & im writing on my blog just because my anxiety cannot hold me bck. i cant bear it. i might cry but i cant cry. hati gelap mungkin. so, this one guy...

well, we all know the best stories comes frm the sadness that we're currently face right. i guess im rly sad rn. thats the only reason why im so rajin to blogging lately :') kalau tweet orang stalk. jaranglah orang baca blog haha. okay, what exactly im gonna share today? idk. it is just smtg that come to my mind all the times. am i not important to anyone? am i never be anyone's favorite? am i really nothing to everyone? i ask this every single day & it makes me feel more sad when they show me the way i think is actually real. its not really about mens. most of the time, i shall say here, about friends. everyone know im really into friendship. even if i get into relationship pun, i will care more abt my friends more than my man. everyone knows that... it hurts though, when we dont get the same energy that we've given. when we dont get the same attention that we give. when we dont get the same love & same appreciation like how we show... i didnt give all my ...

ok gais ni cite form5. aku cite dari awal tahun ea. masa awal tahun, aku belajar gila babs tau sebab nak spm kan, so acahla study hard. dalam class memang focus ah, jarang tido. memang semua benda cikgu ajar semua aku tulis ah. acah budak pandai ar gitu kan. hahha malangnya semua tu jadi awal tahun je.... sampaila bulan 2/3 kot. huhu aku berubah 360°. bodoe gak masani tapi tula benda dah jadi. aku nak salahkan orang pon tak oley gak, sebab kalau diri sendiri tak ikut, tak jadi gak en . cerita dia mcmni. aku suka gila tau physics masatu. sumpah aku cakap dari f4 smpai awal f5, aku takpenah fail mana mana sub tau. even addmths pon. naik je f5 tu, lepas lebih kurang smpai chap 3/4 tu terus aku dah malas study & everything. by everything ni aku maksudkan ponteng kelas semuala. benda ni jadi sebab... aku kenal dgn sekumpulan geng baru aku.. masatu aku jadi budak pss dah ((bukan lagi percubaan ye, baju purple dah time ni hahah)). so bila dah jadi budak pss, mestila manjang dekat libra...

hi. 17:17. Wed. 13th of February. well, i act donno what to write today. tapi nak tulih gak sebab lama tak update hahahahaha. oklah alang alang dah free ciked ni, plus cuti sem pulek, marilah start berkarang pasal kehidupan 2014. huhu. harap harap banyakla lagi aku ingat  ogheis jadi bergini ceritanya... 2014. 17 tahun. form 5. tingkatan 5. senior. tahun terakhir persekolahan. dah senior mestila banyak juniornya ;))))))) ahahahahaha masani aku hidup dengan jalan pi mana mana je mesti ada je budak kenal aku, tegur aku, "kakseb!" "hi akak" ahahahaha junior mana jela tak kenal aku  aku start rapat dengan ramai junior ni masa aku umur 16 kot hahah. memula kenal dengan budak junior kpolis je. batch 99. aku tak suka sangat batch 98 idk y. rasa nyampah tgok sebab dorang terlalu liar huhu tapi masa aku f2/f3 aku bnyak kenal rapat dengan budak 98. maklomla masatu baru ada junior kan hahah. masatu cari adik angkat bagai so adala beberapa kerat budak 98 rapat ngn aku. mac...

hey, 0011. 2019, Feb 5. atm, imma story abt the most heartbreaking moment in my life. well, my azam fr this year is no more sedih sedih broken & everything but januari je dah banyak benda sedih berlaku dalam hidup aku. well, i thought january is a trial month of 2019. but yeah, its february & i still am laying on my toto & crying. have you ever feel betrayed by your own friend? eventho it has been "sebati" in my life, being stepped frm the bck by my own friend, but today i felt extra hurt. why? well, the person i thought wont keluar frm the team is actually including you. eventho aku dah dapat agak dari awal, but aku percaya kat kau. aku percaya yang kau takkan keluar walau cemana teruk pun team kita ni. but yeah, sebab aku percaya kat kau, sakit sangat bila kau kata kau nak keluar... aku tahu, hak masing masing untuk belajar, untuk improve, untuk terus maju kehadapan. but... i just cant accept it... its not the "team" who made us look hebat or grea...

haluuuu sebelom gue ceritain kisah 2014,aku ada benda lain nak habaq sat huhu ni cerita pasal seorang hamba Allah yang entah muncul dari mana tiba tiba je jadi clingy terox dekat aku ahahahaha which is i like lah kan but its so out of sudden & agak laju perjalanan dia tu. hahah. oke nama diberi Mohd Shahrizan Bin idk. nak dijadikan cerita kat sini, aku kenal dia masa lepas kem polis dekat KEMRI tu. masatu umur 16 tak silap aku, form4. eh banyak pulak kan cerita form4 ni haha. tak silap aku f4 ah sebab f3 bz & f5 takleh join any kem. so yeah, assume jelah benda tu jadi masa f4 ye. masa f4 actually, aku rapat ramaaai gila budak lelaki. lagi2 after kem tu. aku tak sure lah kem tu bulan berapa tapi tulah sejak dah jadi friendly nak mampos ni, selambek dek je aku sembang ngn laki. huhu. idk lah tapi dengan lelaki aku susah sikitla nak malu nak start conversation. tapi bila ngn perempuan, masyaallah klau boleh diam aku diam jela tak bertegur ahahahaha entahla maybe sebab perempuan s...

tahun terakhir aku tulis blog; 2013. form4. tingkatan 4. 4 tahun belajar di skolah menengah dato mohd said hanyalah untuk bermain-main. mensia-siakan hidup sendiri dengan cinta munyet manusia. mengejar erti sahabat yang tidak kutemui sepanjang di sekolah itu. kerugian masa, tenaga, wang ringgit, pengharapan ibu bapaku. suatu perjalanan hidup yang sia-sia. yang ku tahu hanya ingin disayangi manusia lain. diberi perhatian, diberi kasih sayang. sebab waktu zaman sekolah menengah, parents aku terlalu busy dengan duniawi, tak hirau pun tentang kami semua, takpernah disisi kami saat kami susah. agak terkilan dan disisihkan daripada keluarga sendiri. tapi semua tu tak kekal lama, alhamdulillah lepas naik upper form, which is ting 4, mereka menjadi semakin prihatin tentang kami 4 beradik. ibuku perlahan-lahan untuk merapati kami. heheh ok cukup pasal family malas nak cakap lebih lebih. sensitive issue ahahahaha. nak citer skang ni pasal hidup aku lps naik f4. 16tahun, mungkin agak matang berb...

halu halu,hola holi kuberi nama cikebum cikebum ahahahaha agak berhabuk jugakla blog ni sebab last post pon 2013 HAHAHAHAHA. now im bck bebeh. why im bck? sebab rasa macam rajin nak taip banyak banyak and rajin nak bercerita tentang hidup eceh. 6yrs tinggal. 6yrs, bck then i was 16 lol now im 22. cukup matang,cukup experience & banyak sangat benda dahpun aku lalui. no worries i ll story abt my life after dah habis sekolah till masuk uni life. banyak sangat benda aku hadap. happy,pahit,manis,kecewa,suka,duka, everything. drama? takpayah cakap. terlalu banyak drama. hahahaha well biasalah got lotssa many new friends & many weird friend i shall say  papepun,im happy to meet every one of them  in next post i ll start story one by one eheh daripada 2015-2019. stay tuneeeed! 