night thoughts.

hi blog, 0333, 27th Feb 2022.

i guess so far this is the only month that ive wrote more than one post haha. honestly, i miss my bestfriend. by the time now ik i dont hv bestfriend anymore bcs nobody is catching up with me :/ and nobody's trying to repair the relationship with me :( but theres always that one person that will always be my bestfriend forever. though we never declare or feel it that way but we're always oversharing and comfortable with each other. though we've been apart by our own friend, we keep catching up whenever we had the chance. but sadly, we became too close with each other that moment, that makes us realise we're too scared this might turn bad, or worst,, became stranger. well, its too late bcs we've turned to be that kind of friendship now :') hitting up "hi" does feel weird, not to be dramatic but saying "imissyou" also feel wrong :/ imissyou a lot, but you never feel the same way, despite my egoistic side, i choose to hit you up when you dont bother to have me in your life anymore hm. well, its obvi not okay for me but if that makes you happy, i guess i shud just accept the fact and learned to be happy as you are :) its a sad fact that we can never be too close to our friend with the same gender forever bcs at the end of the day, being too close will just pushed each other away :') hm, its hardla to be close to people bcs we're too scared of everything, being cautious is so not cool. why cant i text you like i used to? why cant you reply to me like you used to? why everything become so quiet and uncomfortable? how did this happened? am i over-reacting? or are we not suitable for each other? idek. i just hope one day i got the explanation that i deserve. hopefully by the time i get that, im still waiting for you to talk to me again. be safe my love. thankyou for being there for me even just for awhile :') i will always be here waiting for you :)

Comments

Popular posts

:)

i often feel so bad for turning down on people that actually try people that actually care and people that genuinely love me for myself its not that i dont like them its bcs of the trauma that haunted me that caused by other person. i kinda let them go chasing me with a broken heart its just that im so afraid im gonna be another disappointment for that people the people that i love the most the people that i really need in my life im just scared of my own shadow my darkness my nonsense thoughts my attitudes. im not a lovely person not even a decent person for anyone to keep im just gonna be hurting people for being me but somehow this loneliness kill me slowly struck in my heart and broke everything inside it hurts so bad. there are lots of people that im scared would leave me whenever i feel so comfortable talking with them in my daily these people meant the world to me but now i kinda give up trying give up hoping give up wishing they could stay with me b...

selit.

haluuuu sebelom gue ceritain kisah 2014,aku ada benda lain nak habaq sat huhu ni cerita pasal seorang hamba Allah yang entah muncul dari mana tiba tiba je jadi clingy terox dekat aku ahahahaha which is i like lah kan but its so out of sudden & agak laju perjalanan dia tu. hahah. oke nama diberi Mohd Shahrizan Bin idk. nak dijadikan cerita kat sini, aku kenal dia masa lepas kem polis dekat KEMRI tu. masatu umur 16 tak silap aku, form4. eh banyak pulak kan cerita form4 ni haha. tak silap aku f4 ah sebab f3 bz & f5 takleh join any kem. so yeah, assume jelah benda tu jadi masa f4 ye. masa f4 actually, aku rapat ramaaai gila budak lelaki. lagi2 after kem tu. aku tak sure lah kem tu bulan berapa tapi tulah sejak dah jadi friendly nak mampos ni, selambek dek je aku sembang ngn laki. huhu. idk lah tapi dengan lelaki aku susah sikitla nak malu nak start conversation. tapi bila ngn perempuan, masyaallah klau boleh diam aku diam jela tak bertegur ahahahaha entahla maybe sebab perempuan s...

sad.

hey, 0011. 2019, Feb 5. atm, imma story abt the most heartbreaking moment in my life. well, my azam fr this year is no more sedih sedih broken & everything but januari je dah banyak benda sedih berlaku dalam hidup aku. well, i thought january is a trial month of 2019. but yeah, its february & i still am laying on my toto & crying. have you ever feel betrayed by your own friend? eventho it has been "sebati" in my life, being stepped frm the bck by my own friend, but today i felt extra hurt. why? well, the person i thought wont keluar frm the team is actually including you. eventho aku dah dapat agak dari awal, but aku percaya kat kau. aku percaya yang kau takkan keluar walau cemana teruk pun team kita ni. but yeah, sebab aku percaya kat kau, sakit sangat bila kau kata kau nak keluar... aku tahu, hak masing masing untuk belajar, untuk improve, untuk terus maju kehadapan. but... i just cant accept it... its not the "team" who made us look hebat or grea...